


you're an asshole (but i love you)

by perilousgard



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Relationship Study, i hate him can't you tell, oikawa really is the worst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 09:51:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2688359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perilousgard/pseuds/perilousgard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa is a very selfish person. </p>
<p>Or, four times Oikawa thought of himself and one time he didn’t.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you're an asshole (but i love you)

**Author's Note:**

> title comes from the song "true love" by pink.
> 
> here it is, my first "5 times" fic.

**001.**

They’re five and Hajime’s mother invited Oikawa over for a sleepover. They spent all evening playing video games (Oikawa won all of them, much to Hajime’s annoyance), eating too much candy, and building a fort made of pillows and sheets, which they are now attempting to sleep under. Hajime is still trying to decide whether or not he’s had fun, or if spending time with Oikawa has just been ten times more annoying than usual.

Right now, he’s tempted to think it’s more of the latter.

He’d finally gotten to sleep when a cold draft woke him, and he sat up to discover that Oikawa had stolen all of the blankets and is wrapped up in them like some kind of spring roll. Hajime scowls, attempting to pull the edge of the blanket back toward himself, but Oikawa makes a noise of protest and rolls _even further away from him._

Why do their parents force them to spend time together? Just because their mothers are old friends and were pregnant together doesn’t mean that Hajime needs to suffer, does it?

“Oikawa,” he hisses. “I know you’re awake. It’s freezing cold in here, stop hogging the blankets!”

“Mm,” Oikawa mumbles.

Hajime growls and pulls so hard on the edge of the blanket that Oikawa unrolls with a disgruntled squeak. The other boy immediately rolls over and pulls the quilt around himself.

“Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says sleepily, jolted into wakefulness, “that was mean. It’s cooold.”

“I know, stupid. You had all the blankets to yourself.”

He feels a warm body squirming up against his. Oikawa is trying to find his way under the blanket. “Go get another one! This one’s not big enough for us to share.”

“I don’t wanna go get another one! There might be monsters out there!”

Hajime rolls his eyes. “Stupid Oikawa. There’s no such _thing,_ don’t you get that yet?”

“There is too!” says Oikawa indignantly, his voice right at Hajime’s ear. “If there weren’t, why’d you get so scared when we were watching _Signs_ the other day?”

Hajime is glad it’s dark so Oikawa can’t see his ears turning red. “Shut up! I wasn’t scared!”

“Yes you were.” Now Oikawa sounds smug, and Hajime wants to punch him. “You were holding on to me all, ‘Oikaaaawa! Don’t let the aliens get me!’”

“That was _you,_ stupid!” Hajime exclaims, trying to scoot further away from the bane of his existence.

“Well, they _were_ pretty scary,” Oikawa muses, unafraid to admit it. “But whenever I see them for real, I won’t be scared.”

“You’ll never see them for real, dumb Oikawa.”

“You don’t know that for sure, Iwa-chan. The sky’s so big and full of interesting stuff! It’s so big it goes on forever, so we can’t be the only ones in the whole universe.”

Hajime is silent. Sometimes, when Oikawa starts talking like this, he thinks about it, and it really does sound amazing. His best friend’s enthusiasm is hard not to get caught up in, even if he is really irritating about it.

Finally he turns over, looking at Oikawa in the dark. The other boy is so close to him, Hajime could probably count the tiny freckles dusting his cheeks if they turned a light on. “Stop talking,” he says bluntly. “Go to sleep.”

“But it’s cooold, Iwa-chan—“

“Take some of the stupid blanket, then.” Hajime throws half the blanket over him, and the two of them fall silent.

Half an hour later, Oikawa has rolled over and taken all the blankets again, and no matter how Hajime tries, he can’t pry them away from him. Finally, grumbling about annoying idiots, he burrows himself against the lump that is Oikawa beneath the quilt roll and leaches his body warmth, curling up into a little ball and closing his eyes.

The next morning, his muscles are tense from spending the whole night shivering.

 

**002.**

They are fourteen, and it’s Oikawa’s birthday. Hajime is used to the two of them just doing something together for their birthdays, but this year it’s different. This year, Oikawa is suddenly _popular_ , for some unfathomable reason. So, instead of spending an evening at the planetarium like they usually do, Oikawa’s thrown a party. He invited the whole volleyball team and a number of girls in their year that Hajime doesn’t really know.

It’s uncomfortable. Hajime has always been a little shy, and though he’s fine with his teammates, the girls are making it difficult for him to relax. Luckily, they’re hardly paying him any attention at all. Instead, they’re all flocking around Oikawa, who can’t seem to stop smiling and winking every five seconds.

He’s so annoying. Why are they best friends again?

“You’re always making an ass of yourself, Assikawa,” he mutters behind his cup of soda, scowling at Oikawa from across the room.

“He’s a bit charming, though, don’t you think?”

Hajime jumps so badly he almost spills the drink down his front. He hadn’t noticed the girl standing next to him. He thinks he’s seen her before, and panics when he realizes he can’t exactly place her. “Uh—ah…”

She laughs. It’s kind of a nice laugh. “Sakamichi Hana,” she says, bowing slightly. “I’m a year below you.”

He breathes a sigh of relief; they’ve never met. “I think I’ve seen you around,” he says, flushing a bit.

“I’m on the girls’ volleyball team! Sometimes my friend Satsuki and I come watch your practices.”

“Oh, right.” She must be part of Oikawa’s stupid fan club. Figures.

“You’re a pretty good wing spiker, aren’t you?”

“Huh?” Hajime looks at her in surprise. He’s hardly ever complimented for his skills in volleyball, not with Oikawa playing right next to him. “You think so?”

“Yeah!” Sakamichi’s smile is bright and genuine. “You make Oikawa-san look good, don’t you? He probably wouldn’t be half as good as he is without you.”

Hajime can feel the tips of his ears turning red. Is she _flirting_ with him? He doesn’t know; he has next to no experience with girls, and there’s no way in hell he’s asking Shittykawa. Unsure of what to say, he scratches at the back of his head while he searches for words. “W-well, we’ve seen you guys play, too. You’ve got a pretty good team this year.”

“I know! Nami-chan’s a great captain. She was always looking after us, even last year, when she was just a middle blocker. She’s a lot like your Oikawa-san.”

Hajime can’t help rolling his eyes, even though, as he turns the words over in his head, they aren’t exactly untrue. Oikawa, for all his selfish tendencies, genuinely cares about everyone on the team and does a good job of bringing out their potential. There’s already been talk of him being named captain for the next school year, and Hajime would be entirely unsurprised if those rumors didn’t turn out to be true.

“He can be an okay guy, I guess.”

Sakamichi giggles. “He’s your best friend,” she points out.

“Yeah, what does that say about me?” he asks, nodding towards the circle of girls surrounding said best friend.

“I think it says you’re a very caring person,” she replies, “for a friendship to last so long.”

Hajime stares at her. She’s drifted a little closer to him, and she really is cute, now that he looks at her. She has freckles on her nose and soft brown eyes, and two pigtails. Definitely cute.

Suddenly, he catches Oikawa watching him from across the room, and the cheerful smile has completely faded from his face. In fact, if anything, he looks _angry._

Hajime barely has time to wonder why before Oikawa has pushed his way through the crowd around him and has swaggered right up to them.

“Why, Iwa-chan,” he says, in a voice that positively drips with honey, “I don’t think I’ve been introduced to your pretty friend, here.”

Sakamichi flushes, and it _is_ pretty. “Oikawa-san, we were just talking about you.”

“Were you now!” Oikawa sounds delighted. “Don’t listen to anything Iwa-chan says about me. He’s just jealous of my charm.”

She giggles again. “He shouldn’t be jealous. He’s actually pretty charming, himself.”

Oikawa’s eyes narrow, but he keeps smiling. “You’re on the girls’ team, right? I was just going to show some of your teammates a few of my serves. Would you like to come watch?”

“Oh, well…” Sakamichi glances over at Hajime. Oikawa follows her gaze, his eyes boring into Hajime’s, and Hajime has never seen a look quite like that on his best friend’s face. Almost like he’s a bug that needs to be squashed.

He doesn’t like it one bit.

“Yeah, go on,” he snaps, anger rising up in him swiftly. “I was just leaving anyway.”

He doesn’t look at Sakamichi as he turns and leaves, the door slamming shut behind him, but he doesn’t miss the way Oikawa’s eyes widen slightly with hurt.

Hajime tells himself that he doesn’t care.

-

It’s some ungodly hour when Hajime finds himself being shaken awake later that night, and when he rolls over, he finds Oikawa looking down at him.

“Shit, Oikawa,” he says, his voice hoarse from sleep. “How the hell did you even get in here?”

“I used the spare key under the mat,” Oikawa replies, as if it should be obvious. “Why did you leave my party?”

Hajime turns over. “We aren’t talking about that now. Go away, it’s like two in the morning.”

“Were you jealous because I took that girl away from you?”

Hajime feels his blood turning hot again. Slowly, he rolls back and sits up, looking his best friend in the eyes. “No, it’s not because I’m jealous,” he says lowly, angrily. “I didn’t even know her. We were just talking. She doesn’t even _care_ about watching your stupid serves.”

“Well, she _did_ come and watch them,” Oikawa says, and Hajime fucking _hates_ the gloating in his voice. “She seemed pretty impressed.”

“I don’t fucking _care!”_ he snaps. “Did you come over here just to boast to me about that? Because I really don’t care.”

“You sure seemed to care when you just stormed out of my birthday party,” Oikawa says. His eyes are narrow slivers in the moonlight.

“I left because you were being an asshole, and you clearly didn’t care if I was there or not, since you ignored me the whole night anyway.”

“I did not,” Oikawa protests. “I was _trying_ to get back over and talk to you. I can’t help it that I’m so popular.

Hajime throws one of his pillows at Oikawa’s face. “You are insufferable. Get out of my room.”

Oikawa smoothes a hand through the hair that was ruffled by the pillow. “Fine.” It’s spoken quietly, without a hint of anger. He turns his back on Hajime. “I saved a piece of cake for you. I left it on the kitchen table. And I wanted to say thanks, for that Star Wars box set you got me. I’m probably going to watch them over the weekend, if you want to come over.”

Hajime stares at him. Oikawa walks out without another word.

The wing spiker flops back on his bed and lays an arm across his eyes. That stupid, trashy Oikawa. What was that all about?

 

**003.**

When they are third years, Kageyama Tobio joins the volleyball club and Oikawa transforms into a completely different person.

It’s easy to see why Oikawa is so intimidated by Kageyama, a first year with abilities that are far beyond his own, even with him being two years younger. But Hajime still doesn’t know why Oikawa lets it bother him so much. They’re on the same team, and when they finally retire they’ll want to know that strong players are going to hold up Kitagawa Daiichi’s name. He thinks that Kageyama kid could be captain one day, if he’d learn how to work with a team, but he doesn’t dare make that comment to Oikawa.

Oikawa is… _brimming_ with rage whenever he looks at Kageyama.

Hajime doesn’t understand how bad it is until the night Kageyama politely and eagerly asks Oikawa to show him how to serve. Hajime expects Oikawa to be flattered by the request, to be happy that a kouhai is asking for his help, and to gladly take him under his wing.

Instead, he finds himself having to stop Oikawa from punching Kageyama in the face.

When Hajime tells him off, Oikawa blows up at him, and Hajime nearly pops a vein. _I_ this, _I_ that, the stupid brat never thought of anyone but himself. Even so, Hajime only took a small pleasure in making his nose bleed, because Oikawa’s next words stopped his anger cold.

_Suddenly, I feel invincible._

They make his stomach feel weird, like he has butterflies. It takes him awhile to associate the feeling with the ones he gets when he has a crush on someone.

The idea of him having a crush on _Oikawa_ of all people is so ridiculous that he really does laugh out loud, right in the middle of practice. He laughs for five minutes straight, unable to control himself, and he can’t help noticing that Oikawa is laughing too, even though he doesn’t even know what’s funny, and the thought of him knowing just makes Hajime laugh harder.

They keep laughing until Kindaichi throws a volleyball at them.

Oikawa’s so selfish. There’s no way he’d ever allow himself to develop a crush on someone like that.

Practice continues to keep him busy, and Hajime forgets about it. They go up against Shiritorizawa for their last middle school match, and lose again, and Hajime thinks Oikawa’s despair is only tempered by the fact that he received that Best Setter’s award. It _is_ pretty disheartening, but they have all of high school to win a match against Ushiwaka. The two of them dry their tears and join their team for a celebratory dinner and a well-wishing for the third years.

On the way home, Oikawa starts whining.

“Iwa-chan, my ankle hurts. Can you carry me home?”

“No! You played just fine!” Hajime snaps. “Didn’t seem like it was hurting you then!”

“It _wasn’t_ ,” Oikawa confirms. “But now it is. It’s been bothering me ever since I first sprained it last spring. _Pleeeease_ can you carry me?”

“You are so annoying,” Hajime mutters. “If I carry you, will you stop whining about it?”

“Yup!”

“Ugh. Fine.” Hajime rolls his eyes and squats down, and Oikawa gleefully clambers onto his back. “Ouch! You know, we’re not little kids anymore, and you’re taller than me. Stop trying to kill me.”

“Sorry, Iwa-chan,” says Oikawa, his mouth right next to Hajime’s ear. His lips brush right against his skin as he speaks, and Hajime feels the tingle shoot all the way to his toes. At that moment, he remembers how he had been laughing at the idea of having a crush on Oikawa Tooru, and he wonders if maybe it isn’t such a crazy idea.

Oikawa _is_ attractive. There’s no denying that puberty has been very kind to him so far – aside from looking a bit gangly due to his sudden growth spurt, he’s only gotten more handsome as they went through middle school. Even so, acknowledging that his best friend is good-looking doesn’t constitute having a crush on him.

Shivering at the way his breath brushes against his ear, and enjoying the warmth of Oikawa pressed against his back – that’s a different story. Hajime refuses to think about it.

Oikawa is heavy, but Hajime still carries him all the way home. When the dumbass finally slides off of him, he turns to give Hajime a tight hug. Hajime can smell sweat and the gym on him, but his hair still smells like the strawberry shampoo he uses, _what the hell._

“Thanks for carrying me, Iwa-chan. You’re such a good friend.”

Hajime sighs. “You’re a selfish brat.”

“Rude!”

 

**004.**

Today, Hajime is seventeen. When he wakes up that morning, his mother makes him agedashi tofu, his favorite, to take for lunch, and he’s headed up to the shower when his phone alerts him that he has a new message.

It’s from Oikawa. _Happy birthday, Iwa-chan~!_ °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖° _I hope you remember that the sci fi film festival is tonight. You’re coming with me, right?_ (=^▽^=)

Hajime groans out loud, letting his phone drop to the bed.

Oikawa had mentioned the film festival a little while back. At the time, Hajime had been partially tuning him out, so he hadn’t paid attention to the date. But Oikawa had been mentioning it with a little more frequency lately, so Hajime should have realized it was coming up.

On his fucking _birthday,_ of course.

Before he goes to shower, he types out: _Go on your own, dumbass. I’m not spending my birthday with a bunch of nerds like you._

When he’s done showering and has gotten ready for school, he notices that Oikawa hasn’t messaged him back. He doesn’t think anything of it.

At school, though, Oikawa is noticeably more subdued than usual.

“Oi,” Hajime says at lunch, nudging him as he sits down with his bento. “You’ve been quiet all day. I know I shouldn’t complain, but it’s weird.”

Oikawa sighs, putting his chin in his hand. “Do you really not want to go to the film festival with me, Iwa-chan?”

Hajime blinks. “It’s about that? Look, I – I just didn’t remember when it was. I didn’t think it was on my birthday. Come on, Oikawa, you know I’m not really into that stuff.”

Oikawa nods. “I know. I just thought…it’s something we could do together. I threw you surprise parties for your last two birthdays and invited lots of people and it just seemed like…you prefer it when it’s just the two of us.”

Hajime is completely baffled by this behavior. “Well, yeah…you’re the one that likes big parties. I didn’t even know half the people you invited last year.”

Oikawa frowns down at the table, and indescribable emotion swirling in his chocolate brown eyes. “I guess I’ve been a pretty bad friend, Iwa-chan.”

“Huh?” Hajime really doesn’t know where all this is coming from. “No, it’s – it’s fine, okay? It’s in the past. It doesn’t really matter.”

“Yes it does.”

Hajime groans. “Look, if it’ll make you feel better, I’ll go to that thing with you. I didn’t really have plans for tonight anyway.”

“You don’t have to, Iwa-chan.” Abruptly, Oikawa’s mood shifts. “I could always ask Kanna-chan to come with me. I bet she’d cling to me the whole time! So cute.”

“I definitely can’t let you subject an innocent girl to your weirdness,” Hajime says. “I’ll go with you, you nerd. But we aren’t staying all night, okay?”

“Sure thing, Iwa-chan!”

They head to the festival shortly after school lets out. They sit through three movies, all of which are pretty terrible in Hajime’s opinion, but every time he looks over at Oikawa, the boy’s eyes are practically sparkling. If it was possible, his pupils probably would have turned into stars.

Hajime smiles to himself. It’s not exactly the way he wanted to spend his birthday, but Oikawa was right: he prefers it when it’s just the two of them. That’s all Hajime’s ever really needed to be happy.

 

**005.**

Hajime watches Oikawa carefully as their team exits the gym. The next team is already brushing past them, eager to start the warmup, and from behind them, the bleachers are still ringing with cries of _“Shiritorizawa! Shiritorizawa!”_ He hasn’t gotten a glimpse of Oikawa’s face since the end of match, and he has no idea what he’s going to find there.

It was their last match, and they lost.

It was close, but they still lost, and now they’re out of chances.

Hajime swallows the lump in his throat as they reach the locker room, and reaches forward to grasp Oikawa’s shoulder. “Hey—“

Oikawa turns around, and Hajime is shocked to see that he’s smiling.

It’s a genuine smile. It lights up his whole face. But it can’t quite mask the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes. The lump in Hajime’s throat feels larger.

“Oikawa,” he starts, but his voice breaks.

“Good job, everyone!” says Oikawa brightly, his voice ringing around the room. The rest of the team looks at him weirdly, glancing between themselves. “You all did really well, and I couldn’t be prouder to be your captain. There’s no way anyone’s going to forget Aobajousai after this.”

Everyone looks confused. “We lost,” Kunimi says, flatly.

“Yes, we did.” Oikawa is still smiling. “But we made it to the finals, and we fought hard. You all were in your top form. I don’t think we’ve ever played better.”

Little smiles start to form on each of their teammate’s faces, slowly at first.

“Ah, we did all right,” Kindaichi concedes.

“We _did_ score over thirty points,” says Watari.

“Did you see Ushijima’s face during the second set when Iwaizumi-san blew that spike right past him? I want to remember that face forever.”

Oikawa laughs, and Hajime feels an explicable surge of affection for his best friend. He smiles too, even though the lump in his throat just seems to be getting bigger, and he can’t seem to swallow it down.

“I’m treating you all to okonomiyaki,” the captain continues. “No one’s allowed to refuse. Captain’s orders!”

“Hell yeah!” the team choruses, running to grab their things from the lockers.

Hajime watches Oikawa closely throughout dinner, but his smile never cracks once, and he doesn’t look the least bit upset. If anything, he looks _peaceful._

It’s a good look for him, Hajime decides.

When they finally separate from the rest of them and head toward home, Hajime takes a deep breath and finally asks, “Aren’t you upset that we lost?”

Oikawa doesn’t answer for a long moment, his face turned up toward the sky. Finally, he chuckles. “Of course I am, Iwa-chan. This was my last chance to defeat that Ushiwaka-chan.”

Hajime lifts a brow. “Then…what’s up with all the smiling and stuff? I thought you’d take it really hard if we lost.”

“I thought I would too.” Oikawa shrugs one shoulder. “But I was thinking the other day, this is it, isn’t it? We’re done with high school. We’re grown up now.”

“Uh…I guess,” Hajime says. “But what does that…”

“So it’s probably time for me to _act_ grown up and stop being so selfish, huh?”

Hajime stops in his tracks and stares at the taller boy. “Huh?”

“Don’t look at me like that, Iwa-chan!” Oikawa waves his hand. “I’m selfish. You’ve been telling me that since we were kids, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t think you were listening.”

“Well, you’re right; I am. I want everything for myself. Glory, notoriety, fame…you.”

Hajime blinks, his heart thudding against his chest. Oikawa still isn’t looking at him.

“I wanted to be the best. Ever since we were kids, that’s all I’ve been trying to do – get better, work harder, beat Tobio-chan and Ushiwaka. But it’s taken till now for me to realize that I don’t really need to worry about any of that.”

“Ah…you don’t?”

“No.” Oikawa finally meets his eyes. “Because I’m at my best whenever I’m with Iwa-chan.”

Hajime feels his face flush ten different shades of red. _Really?_ This is the kind of thing that Shittykawa would say to the girls in his fan club! There’s really no reason for him to react this way. “T-that was really cheesy, Oikawa.”

“Maybe, but I’ve still got you all flustered.”

“Shut up! I just wasn’t expecting you to say that!”

Laughing, Oikawa sidles closer, looping his arms around Hajime’s waist. “Carry me home, Iwa-chan! Let me ride on your shoulders, like a victory march!”

“Idiot Oikawa! We didn’t even win!”

“Let’s pretend we did!” Oikawa drapes himself over him even more, and Hajime’s legs start to buckle.

“Stop it! You’re heavy!”

“Iwa-chan -!”

Of course, they both end up in the bushes.

“Ouch,” Hajime grumbles, trying to pull himself out without getting all scratched up. “Geez, I can’t believe I’m still friends with this guy…”

A hand grasps his, pulling him back up. Hajime meets Oikawa’s eyes and doesn’t let go.

“I love you, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says sincerely, and his hand is so warm. “You’re my very best friend. I hope you don’t forget it.”

Hajime looks at him, and thinks, _I’m never going to escape him. He’s going to be whining in my ear for the rest of my life._

_I guess I don’t really want to escape him, after all._

“Idiot,” he says again, fondly, and yanks on Oikawa’s hand to pull him closer. “As if you’d let me forget.”

When their lips touch, Oikawa is still smiling.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i hate iwaoi. 
> 
> as a side note, i haven't actually caught up with the manga, but i assume that aobajousai eventually goes up against shiratorizawa so i just went with it.
> 
> come bother me on tumblr at ~perilousgard


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